Stagnant energy filled her soul. Exhaustion permeating ever bone in her body. Day after day, all the same. She was frazzled. That’s the best word to describe it. Anxiety and emotional turmoil finally beat her down so that she frayed at the edges.
It had a name. As with any demon, knowing it’s name gave her power over it. She knew what to do, and what better time than the new moon?
Her past haunted her. Memories long forgotten appeared into her consciousness as a battering ram. The times she was arrested or detained for shoplifting. Each moment playing out in excruciating detail. The shame, guilt, embarrassment. These wounds, long gone, suddenly felt fresh. She asked the universe to relieve her guilt and shame. She was not that girl any more. She had paid her debt. She had faced the consequences.
Vivid dreams plagued her as well. Dreams where people fought for her love, but all she wanted was her freedom. Dreams where she fought to save someone from death. Dreams where she was always trying to gain freedom. For that was what she feared most. A cage.
She felt trapped so often in her own mind. She shut down, unable to cope with the world, with her own mind. Thoughts coming out a garbled mess. She couldn’t think, couldn’t act. She felt as if she were losing her mind. The fog had settled in.
She let it sit far too long. She needed out of her own prison. She didn’t need to punish herself anymore for crimes long ago committed. She had been selfish, self-seeking, and irresponsible but she had grown. She knew when to be selfish and when to be generous. She knew better than she knew before.
So this new moon, she let go of all that shame, guilt, and remorse. She set her sights on bettering herself, not living in a past life that wasn’t hers anymore. She set her intentions on living better, for her own good and the good of others. She was a child of the universe, of the moon, of the earth, not of the shadow, but the light.